Child of My Heart ©Wendy Ealey 2001
I would have loved you so well if I'd had you
I would have held you right here near my heart
Had you been wilful or gentle or needy
I would have cherished you right from the start
I would have marvelled at things you would go through
Delighted by changes, no matter how small
Spent hours just gazing at you in your cradle
Would you be like me or might you be tall

Would your eyes be blue like mine or like your father's
Beautifully hazel with lashes that curl
Would you be cautious and careful or rather
Would you be impatient to conquer the world
The smell of your newness, the dragging exhaustion
From nights when your wailing couldn't be stilled
The clutter, the tantrums, the anxious frustration
Through these, just to have you I would have been thrilled

I'm not the only one missing you badly
A grandma who's wise and a good loving Dad
An aunty and cousin who've longed for your coming
Your Daddy’s big family - what fun you'd have had
Although I don't know you and I'll never meet you
I've loved and I’ve cared for you always it seems
I'm stunned at the knowledge there may never be you
Oh child of my heart, you will live in my dreams.

I would have loved you so well if I'd had you
I would have cherished you right from the start
I sit with the knowledge there will never be you
You will live in my dreams - Oh the child of my hear

 

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