Dancing

Dancing ©Wendy Ealey 2002
Never thought much of dancing
Saw it as silly prancing
Till I went to my first grown up ball
Then reality hit, my coordination was shit
Now my blood spattered dance card appalls
Sitting perfectly still
Using all of my will
Praying no sad old bastard will ask
But inevitably, someone comes up to me
So begins the most trying of tasks

I remember a time, when my friends were inclined
To take lessons with Arthur Murray
I was stupid, I was proud, I laughed right out loud
But the last laugh is really agin me

Just imagine the pain
And the terrible the strain
As we stagger round arythmically
Yes I know I should follow
But will he know where to go
So the directions are left up to me
Looking calm and demure
But so horribly sure
That the man will sustain injury
To his ankles and toes
And lord only knows
But the culprit will always be me

Chorus

Never thought much of dancing
Saw it as silly prancing
Till I went to my first grown up ball
Then reality hit, my coordination was excreble
Now my blood spattered dance card appalls
In my new party shoes
I can inflict a bruise
That will sure make the strongest man flinch
I am murder I guess
In my best party dress
When embroiled in a 3/4 time clinch

Chorus

Finale
I had the last waltz with you
They carted you off on a stretcher
Dancing with me’s not a safe thing to do
I warned you just where it might getcha

da da da da da da da da daaaa
(apologies to Englebert Humperdink)